Like I Do Often...

Why does it happen to me,
only me,
The signs of association with you,
The memories
In every inch I walk,
In every letter I gaze on,
In every fragrance I smell,
In every bit I eat,
In every thought.

I am not a poet, still I write,
The memoirs of our life together,
I am not a scientist, still I analyse,
the reason for this unwelcomed agony,
I am not a painter, still I paint,
on the torn pieces of the parchment of seperation,
I am not a pessimist, still I lose,
the hope of beginning after the END.

And the question is born,
as to WHY?
Why do I act of what I am not,
Why does my soul echo in the dark and lonely graveyard,
With my name etched on every grave of your insanity?
Why has this numbness crept into you,
that you've become blunt towards all the humanity?

Life rolls on, getting undone every moment,
Wishes, hopes and desires buried under the sand,
I walk along the roadside and wish you were besides,
But all I hold is the broken wall with my empty hand.

Yes, I am smiling, I am satisfied,
I am waiting, I am terrified...

A coalescence of these thoughts,
A blend of various emotions,
Is what makes me,
and my silent desperation.

I hear the sound of your favourite song,
And my memory shells out infinite moments,
Of bliss that we shared in those precious years,
Why cant I just accept this decrement.

I try hard to move on,
I try to throw you out,
It fails always,
My effort to silently shout.

Its just the questions I am living with,
I am naive, I am simple,
And i loved you....

Why is it then I still remember you every time I hear a laughter,
Why is it then I cry every time, I see a rose,
Why is it then I ponder over for hours, over what the hell went wrong,
Why is it then I....and YOU are not US??

I seldom wonder alongside unparalleled desires,
If you would be crying for me, for US,
Like I do often,
If you would have that hope of getting things back on track,
Like I do often,
If you would pray every moment to reincarnate the LOVE,
Like I do often,
If you would be desperate to hear my voice,
Like I do often...

I search for answers, all alone...
and just wonder again....


If you would die every moment,
Like I do often........................................