An accidental morning... (ewww!)

At this point of time, I am experiencing such vivid twirls in my heart, that it makes me go bonkers in my brain. Its 6:31 am and the first thought that came to my mind was, "What the hell am I doing online at this time? Am I really awake!!? Or is it a dream that refuses to establish its identity! How the hell could you commit this sin of getting up so early!!" Running in the meadow of my beautiful thoughts, some erogenous, some tempting me enough to just close my eyes and just fall back to sleep, others alarming me of the conscious battle fury which I engaged myself into last night, dedicated towards making a decision of studying this semester... I decide to just pen down my state right now.

Why am I wasting time here on net? I should be studying instead! That was the primer. The frozen nerve feeling at my pinky, arising from the elbow joint managed to dissuade me from me drawing conclusions. I got reminded of this friend of mine. A very close friend. According to her, I 'malfunction' after 12 o'clock in the night. And again in the morning with the sun, I transcend into this personality of a normal engineering student. I wonder how this is possible? Have I grown into one classic case of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)? What crap am I thinking at 6:30 in the morning!!!!!!!!!!

I break my reverie with the help of her reminiscences fruiting inside me. I get this non familiar feeling of discomfort inside me. Surprizingly discomfort as this wasn't associated with her. Actually, this shouldn't be associated with her. Like you jolt, when you accidently touch a metallic frame of a cooler without earthing, I too jolted, though all inside on the thought of her being with me again. I so wish not to think about it. Successfull in this attempt to curb this feeling, I draw out the curtains to let the sunshine embrace my face and make it warm..I open my eyes and let the light fall upon me..and then it clicked:

"To hell with everything, its just 6:45! Go to sleep moron!!"

And allowing myself for this, I fall back on this routine hostel bed of mine, with this blue printed bedsheet, and just wonder, "how damn random can my life be? I woke up at 6:30 in the morning to write this thing!!!?? Do I really need medical care?

No, maybe its just the "malfunction". And I enjoy it. It lets me introspect in my mad mad way. Though its some crappy, insignificant stuff that breeds in my useless brain, it does find its significance on its own at some later point in time. In life. And what could be more comforting than the feeling of knowing yourself, knowing your desires and being able to soul-search with effectiveness? This could be enough to eradicate the evil around in humanity if people dwell upon their innerselves. Just randomly like it happened with me this accidental morning. And then this applies:
"If you know what you want, then you know how to work towards getting it." Simple.