An Experience, A Gift... :)

 I remember sitting on a creaky red chair in a marriage party when I must have been nine, or probably a sober ten. The common Indian verbal ruminations about what not in the world, by “who not” Indian females, were in the air all around under the fluttering typical reddish tent. Yes, tent. I am talking about 11 years ago. Anyway, I obviously couldn’t understand such ‘relevant’ women stuff at that time (with not much of a difference to this fact even today when I am 21 :P). This led me to stick to my chair obediently and wait for my parents to finish their miserably important socialising. Keeping me accompany was the chilly weather and the sound of the noisy dhol. In between all the social paranoia, I remember a very strange incident that happened. It happened with me. And the crux is, it was something which was totally unexpected. (Though really felt afterwards...)

Fiddling with the golden button on my baby black suit, I remember someone occupying another chair besides me. Shockingly, it was a girl. And the bigger shock was, she was looking at me. Direct, into the eyes. Actually what was actually a shock was the combo that she was pretty, she was a “girl” and she seemed to be inclined towards breaking a conversation with me. ME! WOW! But with my characteristic straight faced expression (It is still there...for people who know me know it) I looked back and she made a statement, “You know, you are looking so damn cute.” With the help of her stunning smile, she managed to get through pulling my cheeks. (Now you would understand why the shock was “felt” afterwards :P). Later, she just stood up and went away. I was left bedazzled.

The reason for me to gape was the false proving of my own belief that girls don’t, and probably would never talk to me. Later on, I do remember clinging onto dad while walking out to catch an autorickshaw back home (we did not have a car at that time) with one recurrent question:

Me:        “Would girls ever talk to anyone like me when I grow old? Would I be able to make even friends, forget about girls?”

Dad:       “It is not what you actually think it is.”

Again, very obviously, at ten you cannot expect someone to infer this statement to flamboyant precision. Even I could not. I got nuggets of what it could mean, but I could not decipher exactly. So I ignored and life went on.

11 years later my memory serves me wonders. Life seems to have undergone a complete evolution. Studying engineering in one of the most specialised disciplines, my life, till now has been completely different from what I imagined it to be like. I transformed into a self-believer after eighth grade. Till then I used to bear a lot of appalling comments, disgraceful looks and ignorant gestures. I was no more than a ludicrous dope! Right from the beginning of my school, I used to be below the poverty line in the section of “friends”. Living in the negativity bubble around me, my academics suddenly began to suffer.  And suddenly I became broke in the section of “friends”. This struck a chord in me. I decided to walk backwards. And academics became my first step. Somehow things began to fall in place. I began to score well in my school. The world followed. I started reading novels, writing poems, studying academics, debating, gaming, socialising, understanding my culture, trying to become a good person........and what not! I even entered sports, though never could go beyond school level J. Maybe because....because I am differently abled. I realised that maybe I suffered the ignorance and avoidance during my initial life not because I was differently abled, but because I did not try to conquer my life. Maybe because I did not try to win over. Maybe I did not ever think that I CAN DO IT.

Now that I feel I did win over the difficulty and the hurdles, my address book comprises of more contacts of females than males.... ( I guess... :P) And yes, girls DO talk to me. J And I am pretty wealthy in the department of good friends now (like the one on whose request I am writing this post). :P J

So I understood a very important fact, which I would like every struggling person to keep in mind:

“It is not what you actually think it is.”

PS: I actually did not know what to write when I was told to do so. This was an impromptu when I came across a News channels award ceremony dedicated to the differently abled superstars... 

  

Cross posted for my sweet friend here